I intend to write each blog openly and honestly.
Everything I write is written freely from My own perspective and reflection.
My intentions are to blog in a way which gives My readers an insight into My thought process and reflections along the way.
I welcome any emails and messages on your thoughts in response to this but please appreciate that My time is precious.
I often think about the early days and how I wanted to be perceived in the world of BDSM.
I wanted to be the best. The most fantastic Mistress there is. I wanted to learn every style and technique and I wanted to learn fast. I wanted to offer a mass of services because I wanted to appeal to everyone. I also note, that I wanted to enjoy everything I had learnt.
At the time in My mind, each act should be enjoyed. After all they were acts of dominance and as a Dominatrix I felt I should indulge in each of them as though each fetish was My favorite.
I had mixed emotions.
Did I want to be a strict Mistress? Did I want to be a playful Mistress? Did I seek pleasure in pain or did I enjoy a more sensual session?
These were questions I pondered most of the time.
Some days I felt as though I was drowning in information. The market that I had entered was vast and overwhelming. I am naturally dominant so why was I feeling so out of My depth?
With this, I decided to strip Myself back.
Rather than wanting to appeal to the masses I reflected on what appealed to Me.
Before working as a Domina in the dungeon I got My degree in counselling. My fascination was with the mind and how we condition ourselves to think and act in certain ways according to our environment.
The mind was and still is a great interest of Mine. Opening a person up, having them tell Me their deepest and most secretive thoughts made the hairs on the back of My neck stand up.
Imagine someone telling you their darkest thoughts. Their biggest secrets. Their hidden fantasies. It is a great privilege, a gift in fact. It is the gift I desire the most.
Once I have captured the mind the rest flows with ease. The assertiveness, the dominance, the control.
Without that sense of another, I feel that an act is just that – an act.
As an example, for Me, one crack of the whip onto a person’s back means nothing if I do not know why such an act makes that person tick. It is just a movement of the body with no solid connection of the two minds. Of course, the whipping asserts pain which often leads to a feeling of power. But for Me, that was not enough.
With this, I knew exactly where I wanted to go with My training. I had found Myself.
In a world that I was once drowning in, I now feel that I am at My most powerful. Not because I know everything but because I have stripped Myself down and brought the real Me into play.
I still have so much to learn and I feel that this will always be the case but I am accepting of that.
Everyone is so diverse. We all perceive so differently and each person has a different outlook on their own fetish making every experience very unique.
Much like the submissive I feel that the Dominatrix is also on a special journey. A natural journey that is a fluid like process of reflection and learning.
